To find oneself and to live oneself is a basic requirement, so that you can lead a meaningful and fulfilled life at all. Every person who exists has this longing to finally find himself. How to do this, I will describe to you in this article.


  1. Stop and endure yourself
  2. Find yourself in silence
  3. Become more independent to find yourself
  4. Find yourself: Take full responsibility
  5. Recognize your true self
  6. Find out what you really want
  7. Living yourself: consequence of your intuition

If you want to live yourself, you must first recognize your true self. This path of self-discovery can only happen if you turn your attention inward. On the outside are the many temptations that ultimately distract us from ourselves. But to find the truth, you have to look inward. Only there can you find answers.

A seed contains all the information that the plant needs for its growth. That’s also the case with you. Everything is in you.

1. Stop and endure yourself

If you want to find yourself, you have to stop. Stop being busy, with the constant distraction of yourself that does not really help you in life. Stop passing the time and just entertain yourself.

If you do it with your self-discovery mean really serious, you need to stop and be able to withstand yourself. Only when you stop and start doing nothing, you are confronted with yourself.

If you have distracted yourself so far from it, then it is clear that it is only once totally unfamiliar and unpleasant to endure yourself. But you have no choice. You have to be able to sit down without any distraction and perceive yourself.

No music, no pictures. Only you. Sit down and perceive yourself:

  1. What thoughts are there?
  2. What do you feel in your body?
  3. What do you feel when you do nothing?

In this exercise, notice how you slide into thinking over and over again. The thoughts are also an act of doing. They keep you busy. They shower you like the radio or the television. In this case, turn off the action over and over again, as you wake up from the sleep of thinking and go into the perception.

Repeat your breath over and over again and try to find out the feeling that comes up. Do not do anything with it. Let everything be there. Carefully perceive what comes up and happens by itself. Do not rate and above all: do not flee. Stay there. Even though it’s going to be hard, today you can feel every feeling that pops up.

In this process, it helps you to know how to consciously handle feelingsand learn meditation .

2. Find yourself in silence

To face yourself, you must go through all the layers that come to the surface when you do nothing. The silence helps you. Only in silence can you recognize and find yourself. You need rest without any distractions. So take daily time for yourself in solitude; at best, also in nature, and perceive yourself as described in the previous step.

3. Become more independent to find yourself

To find oneself means to become more independent and therefore more independent. How do you want to find yourself when your focus is on needing things outside?

Maybe you think you need money, your dream job, your family, friends, the soulmate, a new place to live, a new car, career or other things.

If you try to find your happiness in these or other things, I can tell you now that this search is in vain. No matter what you do on the outside, it will eventually throw you back on yourself.

In my life, I also thought for a long time that I would be lucky if I finally found the right life partner. With that, I have made my luck dependent on something outside, as many others do. I found this woman and everything truly amazing. One day, however, everything unexpectedly collapsed. She was gone from one day to the next and thus no longer part of my life.

This threw me unprepared back to the hard ground of reality. I fell into a hole and suffered as in a long time. I felt lost and lonely, as if an elementary foothold in my life had collapsed.

This low could happen only because at that time I had not learned to be independent. I made my luck dependent on the existence of a life partner. Many are subject to this illusion that they will find the happiness of their lives.

However, true happiness can only be found through independence, because this is unshakable.

As long as you make yourself dependent on something outside, be it things, circumstances or people, you will not be able to find yourself and live for yourself.

You first have to get to your core. Once you’re connected to it, you do not need the things out there anymore, because you are. Only then will you be able to build a truly loving relationship with all things.

Is it love when you are with a human because you need it?

Probably not. Read more in the article ” Learning to love unconditionally”.

So become more independent step by step. Recognize the things you cling to in order not to feel a sense of being alone, lost, or emptiness .

But if you brave these feelings , you can awaken to true reality: you already have everything in you that you need. You do not need anything from the outside, but you are already complete, just as you are now. However, you can only gain this insight if you face up to all feelings, feel it valiantly and follow the further steps here.

4. Find yourself: Take full responsibility

With the release of your emotional dependencies , you begin to take responsibility for your life. To find oneself means to live oneself as an independent being. Every time you give up the responsibility (for example, to make a partner happy), you are denying yourself the opportunity to find yourself.

Make the following clear:

  • No one else is to blame for your life situation
  • You are an independent, adult being who can live independently
  • Nothing on the outside can make you happy in the long term
  • You only find happiness in a life where you basically do not need the other things anymore

Read more here: Stop whining and finally take responsibility for yourself

5. Realize your true self

In the first steps, you have learned to focus attention, to perceive your thoughts and feelings. Now another important step is happening: the realization of what you are and what you are not.

As a general rule, you are not your thoughts and feelings. You are more the vessel through which thoughts and feelings can flow. These can only flow if you do not hold on to them.

In the step of self-knowledge, you can see how you define yourself about particular thoughts and feelings. Some are also defined by their body. Any thoughts that start with “I am …” and that you think you really are, are very interesting. These are part of your illusory self-image, because the truth is deeper.

You are the perceiving consciousness.

Your self-knowledge is a longer process. Find more help here: Self-knowledge: Realize who you really are .

6. Find out what you really want

Of the many millions available today, there may be a handful of things that are really relevant to you. These are the things your soul wants to express and experience. It’s the things that matter to you, that delight your heart, that make you fun and build a bridge to your enthusiasm.

You can only learn all this if you really deal with yourself, ask yourself these questions and gain experience. Discover your values, wishes and goals as described in the book ” Self-Realization “.

These things are related to the individuality of your soul, and you can only find yourself if you experience those preferences. Make your self-discovery an exciting project by trying new things, expanding your hobbies and social circles. Follow what interests you, does you good, repents you joy or strengthens you.

Stand up for yourself and learn to lead an independent and happy life without waiting for external circumstances. Live yourself, now!

7. Living yourself: consequence of your intuition

Intuition is the ultimate and bomb-proof guide through your life. It is a quiet sense of correctness and coherence. It is the mouthpiece of your soul that shows you the way. So basically, you always know what to do or what to refrain from doing. You know at each moment what is right for you and if you are in the right place.

But you can only recognize the soft voice of intuition as soon as you have trained the perception of your inner self. I have addressed this in the first steps of this guide. Find out more in the article Using Intuition and of course in the book ” Self-Realization “.


Finding you is not a process that happens overnight. It is a way. I call this path self-realization . Here, over time, you see more and more who you really are and what you want to carry out of your innermost being into the world.

The most difficult thing is to forego the constant consequences of pleasure and to be able to withstand painful or unwanted feelings. By being able to escape from any feeling, you can see yourself more and more in the depths.

The truth of who you really are is below the thoughts and feelings. Allow everything to pass by and know that you are not all that, but something even more essential.

If you want to experience yourself and life in depth, the following book is a wonderful companion for you: Self-Realization – Know yourself and realize your purpose .

Also in the enamel course you will be supported on your way of self-discovery and stay connected with my work.

I’m glad if you have questions and put them down as a comment. Only those who have questions have a real interest in finding the truth.

All the best,


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